


classical conditioning

by geoffox



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: A lot of sex, Connor Lives, M/M, a lot of smuts with some feels at the end, connor needs his weed, essentially prostitution, evan is a nervous nelly, feels at the end, holy shit why did I write this, i am sin, im terrible, it's all consensual tho, light angst?, smutts, why
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-10-29 10:11:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10851831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geoffox/pseuds/geoffox
Summary: Connor's gone down the rabbit hole of giving blowjobs in exchange for weed.And then he meets Evan.oran excuse for me to write one specific idea where connor is a sex trained wizard fiend and evan is beyond confused by that fact.((Now with regular updates because I finished moving!!))





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> couldn't get this out of my head.

The first time Connor does it, he is sixteen and high. The room is smoky and dim. He feels sort of like he’s floating.

“I could give you a little more,” the dealer says from where he’s sitting on the bed, thumbing through messages on his phone.

Connor quirks a lazy eyebrow at that and takes another drag.

“Just gotta do me a quick favor,” the man continues. Connor thinks his name might be Charlie, but he isn’t sure.

He barely even thinks over the offer, though he should’ve. Unfortunately in his state of mind getting bribed to suck a stranger’s dick isn’t really a big deal. He kneels between the man’s knees and takes another drag.

“You ever done this before?” the dealer asks through the haze, unbuttoning his jeans and palming himself through his underwear.

Connor shakes his head and pushes some of his hair out of his eyes.

“Guess you’ll learn,” Charlie laughs. “Just don’t bite my dick off and we’ll be fine.”

He starts slow, having never done it before or really anything of the sort at all.

“Less teeth,” Charlie grunts, one hand carding through Connor’s long hair. “You gotta earn this.”

Connor bobs his head and just focuses on not choking. It’s isn’t easy but he still smells smoke among the dealer’s musk and craves bliss.

“Look at me,” Charlie murmurs, voice low, and Connor does, pupils no doubt blown wide.

He focuses on halting the tears that gather at the corner of his eyes every time the back of his throat is prodded. He focuses less on his own ungraceful noises and instead listens to the dealer’s soft groans, which are slowly increasing in volume. Eventually Connor just kind of zones out, lost in his head, until he tastes thick salt on his tongue.

 

Charlie holds his head down on the tip of his dick until Connor swallows, then he pulls up his pants. Connor sits back on his heels and breathes, throat feeling clogged. The air is really stuffy in the room, cloudy with haze.

“Not bad,” the dealer drawls, checking his phone again. “You’d be great with practice. Look nice anyway.”

Connor grabs his lighter off the bed. “How much are you going to give me for that?” His voice comes out hoarse.

“A fair amount.”

He smiles, shaky and slow.

 

The second time Connor does it, he’s a day from seventeen and has cravings. He’s knocking at his dealer’s apartment, banging almost because his stomach’s been in twists and his head is rattling with discomfort.

“The price is gonna have to be doubled,” Charlie sighs, collapsing onto his sofa. “I don’t get new stuff till later this week and I have others waiting.”

Connor feels another pang of discomfort rip through his stomach. “I don’t have that much.”

Charlie purses his lips. “I can’t help you then.”

Connor’s head is buzzing. 

 

“What if I did it again?” the words come out more desperate than anything else.

Charlie thinks about it. “You’d have to do a damn good job.”

Connor sinks down to the carpet and tips his head up. He needs his fix.

 

“No teeth, and look at me,” the dealer reminds him. Connor nods, just barely past the cock in his mouth. 

He tries so hard.  _ Needs  _ his fix. He looks up at Charlie and tries not to use his teeth and—it actually turns out a lot better. When Charlie cums, Connor swallows it down as if it tastes like victory, fighting past his heaving stomach.

 

Charlie gives him a couple joint’s worth. Connor frowns.

“You’ll have to come back, cause that’s all I have,” the dealer says.

He nods because he needs his fix.

 

The third time Connor does it, he’s ready. He’s got his money, bills rolled up tightly and stuffed in his wallet. It’s four days later and he’s off his blissful high.

He knocks on the door.

 

Charlie lets him in with a nod and he instantly notices the second person in the room. A tall, dark haired young man eyes him carefully. 

“Usual amount?” Connor asks, reaching into his back pocket.

Charlie glances at the other man. “No, actually.”

He shoots them both a questioning glance.

“We kinda want to—do—you,” it’s the first time Connor’s seen Charlie even remotely embarrassed. 

He stares at them.

“That’s my price,” Charlie rubs the back of his neck. “Just let Peake and I fuck you. You wouldn’t have to pay anything else.”

“What if I don’t want to do that?” Connor raises an eyebrow. “I’m not exactly “good” at sex.”

Charlie shrugs.

 

He really should have thought about it longer, but his head hurts from early withdrawal and the first two times weren’t that bad.

 

Connor finds himself kneeling between the both of them, hands slipping over skin. He feels far removed from the situation. He’s just paying for weed after all. He sucks the tip of Charlie’s cock into his mouth and bobs his head.

“Hang on,” Charlie murmurs, stepping away and grabbing Connor’s arm. He pulls him up while Peake’s fingers wander around Connor’s hips. They stumble into the bedroom, Connor between the two of them, his hands still down their pants. Charlie pushes him onto the bed.

 

He’s working hard, sucking Charlie’s dick into the back of his throat when Connor feels his own jeans being unbuttoned. He makes a move to look behind him but Charlie pushes his head back down. A moment later, pants and boxers pulled down, Connor hears the sound of a bottle being opened, and then cold slick presses against him. 

See he’s never really looked into the whole “how does gay sex work” thing. It’s always been just a little mysterious. Until now. His mouth floods with salt and Connor feels a finger work it’s way into him. It burns slightly, so he wiggles his hips uncomfortably, feeling hot and strange.

“Just relax,” Peake’s reassures smoothly from behind, moving his finger around. “I’m loosening you up, that’s all.”

Connor feels another finger push into him and arches his back at the unfamiliar burning. He pulls off Charlie’s cock and takes a moment to breathe as the fingers push deeper. He needs his fix.

 

When Peake eventually adds a third finger, Connor yelps. Not because of pain but instead because of an arc of pleasure that runs up his body.

Charlie chuckles, sitting up against the headboard. “Found the sweet spot I guess.”

Peake pulls the fingers away after giving Connor one more stretch. He crawls up to where Charlie is and pats his lap, rock hard cock stiff and tall.

 

“Come here,” he murmurs. “Just take off your jeans first.”

He slides his pants and boxers down his  hips and onto the floor, till he’s just left in a shirt and hoodie. Then he awkwardly shuffles into Peake’s lap. Part of Connor’s mind can’t really believe he’s doing this. Pretty much selling himself for drugs. The rest of him doesn’t actually care. He just wants to feel good—and he does, cock half hard from the fingering.

 

“Scoot up,” Charlie motions towards the center of the bed. “He’s got long legs.”

“I’ve noticed,” Peake murmurs, running one hand down Connor’s thigh. He shimmies forward, teen still on his lap, until Connor can actually get his legs under him.

“Here we go,” He’s lifted up slightly, until he can feel the press of Peake’s dick against him.

Connor sinks down slowly, hands tightening on the man’s shoulders as the burning starts up again. He can hear shaky breathing by his ear. Eventually he bottoms out, feeling full and very strange.

 

“Okay to start moving?” Peake asks, voice rough and low, and when Connor nods he starts thrusting. His hand finds Connor’s cock suddenly and the long haired teen whines.

“Fuck,” Peake rumbles, he starts thrusting harder.

“He’s tight?” Charlie asks, staring at the both of them.

“Man he’s perfect.”

Connor feels the coil of pleasure in his lower throat and tries to meet the man’s movements, until he’s bouncing up and down. Ever so often there’s a spike of pleasure as something inside of him is reached. He can’t believe this is actually happening.

It only takes a few minutes for Peake to climax, spilling inside of him. When he pulls out, Connor is dripping white onto the bedspread. He’s immediately pulled backwards, onto Charlie who’s behind him now, and then there’s another dick filling him.

Charlie fucks him like a dog until they both cum, Connor so sensitive that it almost hurts. When they’re finally done, Connor lays between them, panting and sticky. There’s cum on his clothes but he doesn’t worry about that yet.

 

“You did so well,” Charlie grins. “Earned your pay anyway.”

Connor, pulls hair out of his face, still quite breathless. “Great.”

 

He needs his fix.

By the time Connor is halfway through senior year, he’s pretty good at sex. Maybe he’d put it less bluntly but he doesn’t really see why. It’s what he does. He goes to his dealer’s apartment and gets fucked and gets weed. Just that simple.

  
Naturally Evan Hansen messes everything up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dear fuck why won't this chapter friggin submit godammitd
> 
> tumblr is geoffox. i am tired. also this is a shorter chapter. there is a method to the madness.

He’s partnered with one Evan Hansen for a Film project. Connor had signed up for film because it was just watching movies in a dark classroom. Unfortunately there was still some work. 

He glances at the nervous looking kid sitting in front of him.

 

Neither of them say anything and Connor picks at the underside of his desk, where he’s found a piece of old gum, crusty with age. He’s never been really good with people but then—people have never really been good with him.

 

“So—” Evan finally speaks up. His voice shakes ever so slightly. Connor wonders if he’s afraid of him. “Forrest Gump.”

“Yeah,” Connor’s managed to get his fingernail under a large portion of the gum. It slowly peels off like a large scab and he feels a spark of satisfaction.

“When do you want to watch it?” Evan asks, sounding almost constipated with worry. “I can do after school today—”

“Can’t,” Connor says easily, mind flashing to a dark apartment and the beloved rush of a high. “I’ve got stuff to do.”

Evan nods hesitantly. “O—kay, the day after then?”

The period is over so Connor stands up, grabbing his bag. “Yeah. Sure. Whatever.”

  
  


Peake rubs Connor’s side, pressing on his ribs. “You should probably have a shower before you head out.”

He wipes white off his face and sits up. “Yeah,” he feels good right now, smoked just half an hour ago and full of a delightful afterglow.

Charlie jerks his thumb at the bathroom door. “I’ll join you.” 

Connor smiles like smoke, barely there and hazy.

  
  


He meets Evan Hansen in the library twenty minutes after school’s end. Evan’s setting up one of the school’s computer, CD drive open and disk balanced on his fingers. He doesn’t mention anything about the fact that Connor’s ten minutes late. He actually looks like he’s having a pretty awful time. Connor notices the way he rubs the back of his neck as he pushes the CD drive closed. 

 

Nervous. Evan Hansen is nervous.

Connor drags another chair to the computer. “So we have to take notes?”

Evan nods shakily. “On themes—and stuff.” He’s not really looking at Connor, head turned stiffly towards the computer.

Connor stares at Evan. There’s a dull ache in his stomach. “Cool. Whatever.”

 

He rests, body sticky and faintly damp on the bed. Through his haze of sleep he can hear Peake and Charlie talking, voices low, in the living room.

“He comes round often, doesn’t he?” 

Connor rolls over, curling up, eyes still closed.

“Yeah I don’t think he has any friends.” Charlie sighs.

“Has he ever had any friends?” Peake asks.

“Not since I’ve started dealing with him. I’m not sure friendship is even possible for a guy like him.”

There’s a pause where nobody says anything.

“Great fuck though.”

Peake hums in agreement and Connor seethes.

 

He decides to try and make a friend.

 

On Tuesday, Connor meets up with Evan after school to watch the last twenty minutes of the movie. The library is nearly empty, Tuesday not being a busy day and Evan has a cast on his left arm.

“What happened?” Connor asks more delicately than normal. He’s trying.

Evan looks at him, then at the ground. “I fell.” He sounds less... than normal. Connor doesn’t know what he’s missing, perhaps the high pitch of extra nerves or ironed out friendliness. 

He stares at the stark blankness of the cast and reaches into his pocket for a pen.

“Can I sign it?”

Evan looks surprised.

 

He signs the cast in his large messy handwriting. It’s the only signature on there. Connor wonders if Evan’s ever had a friend. They watch the last bit of Forrest Gump and Connor even tries to take notes this time. After the movie ends Evan starts packing his things.

 

“So where are we going to do the project?” He asks. To be honest he’s not even sure what the project is.

Evan awkwardly manages to lift the backpack onto his shoulders. “I g—guess we could do it here, I can’t do today though—I’ve got plans.” 

Connor’s mind drifts back to the soft feeling of exhaustion.

_ “I’m not sure friendship is even possible for a guy like him.” _

He eyes the signature on the cast, large and spidery. “How about my place?”

Evan blinks. “Uh—sure,” he seems a little confused. “You’ll have to tell me your address—”

“I’ll text it to you,” Connor pulls out his phone. “What’s your number.”

Evan looks hesitantly at Connor’s phone.

He attempts a smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iv been playing so much overwatch holy shit.

Connor’s house is big. He’s never been even remotely embarrassed by it until now, when Evan leans his head back, eyeing the ceiling far above with wide eyes. It’s probably because Connor doesn’t really look the part. He always wears worn hoodies and scuffed up sneakers.

 

“Mom?” The honey sweet voice of his younger sister echoes from the landing and Evan’s head snaps up as Zoe appears at the top of the stairs. She looks surprised.

“Connor?” She stares at the two of them. “You’re home earlier than usual.”

There’s a beat of silence because in all honesty Connor isn’t really good at chit chat.

“This is Evan,” he finally says, realizing the nervous, sweaty wreck next to him isn’t going to say anything.

“Yeah I’ve had a few classes with you,” Zoe smiles wide and perfect. “Hi Evan.”

Connor notices the way they both seem so focused on each other. His stomach aches.

“We’re gonna go work on a project.” He drags Evan up the stairs and past his sister.

“See you later Evan!” She grins.

 

Connor’s room is an organized disaster. There’s a desk against one wall and his bed against another, next to the half open closet. He flops down on the bed, letting go of Evan’s wrist which he now realizes he may have grabbed a bit too tightly.

 

Evan rubs his wrist and shrugs his backpack to the ground. “I didn’t know Zoe was your sister,” he says.

Connor sits up. His backpack makes his shoulders burn so he pulls it off. “Yeah. That’s her,” he responds dully. Suddenly he’s not sure he wants to do this. He’s already tried hard enough, walking with Evan to his house and trying to keep idle conversation the whole time. It’d been hard because Connor has learned to talk with actions. Not words.

Unfortunately just a few words from Zoe had blown all his efforts aside like leaves in the wind.

Evan’s rifling through his backpack, finding the folder with the project handouts.

“So how do you want to do this?” He asks, voice shaky but not as shaky as when they first talked in Film class..

Connor’s mind instantly goes to a dark room, gentle hands gripping his waist and sides.

_ “How do you want to do this?”  _ Charlie asks Peake, voice low and rumbling.

“I don’t,” Connor says, sourly, almost jokingly. “I hate school. That’s why I took Film.”

Evan chirps a laugh. It sounds nice. “Well—we’ve got to get the paper done somehow.”

He lays flat on his bed again. From the corner of his eye he spies  _ “CONNOR”  _ in spindly letters, bright against the stark cast.

“It’s due  _ next  _ week, right?” He asks, mind focused with determination.

“—Yeah,” Evan says after a moment.

Connor rolls off the bed. “Fuck it, let’s hang out or something.”

  
  


For the next few hours they dick around. For some reason, in Connor’s room, he feels a lot more comfortable than on the walk from school. It’s as if the tension had been broken. Connor shows Evan his video games, dusty from underuse, tucked away into the corner of his desk. Evan explains how he’s never really had the chance to play anything since his mother didn’t think video games were healthy. Connor says that Evan’s mom is probably right even as he presses his finger hard against the power button.

 

Evan gets picked up at around seven in the evening. His mood has gradually lightened throughout the evening from it’s usual mellowness and Connor feels victorious. 

He can totally make a friend.

 

Over the next week, he experiences friendship. It’s different than he thinks it’s supposed to feel, but Connor wouldn’t really know. He finishes the film paper with Evan and they go walking in the park the next day. Evan shows him how to tell maple trees apart and talks about the ideal cross-country road trip he’d like to take after he graduates.

 

“South Dakota would be amazing during the summer,” Evan throws his good arm up towards the sky, reaching far.

“I’d like to visit Colorado,” Connor thinks aloud. “Cause, yanno,” he assumes Evan knows about his smoking habit. Must know. No way he doesn’t. It’s all over the school.

“Yeah the mountains are real gorgeous there,” Evan grins at a passing tree.

 

He can’t be that stupid.

 

Connor is grateful.

 

His jaw aches from being open too wide for too long. Connor is used to it. Charlie pulls his head down even deeper until the tip of his cock presses against the back of his throat. He breathes out heavily through his nose and pulls hair out of his face as Charlie cums, salt flooding his mouth.

“Fuck,” Charlie groans. “You’re so good at this. You should be a pornstar.”

Connor sits back on the bed. He doesn’t really know how he feels about that comment. Peake isn’t here today so it’s just him and the dealer.

“Maybe once I graduate,” Connor says, voice raspy. He isn’t serious.

Charlie chuckles. “It’d be a good fit for you. Don’t have to get attached.”

Connor reaches out and takes a hold of the other’s dick. It’s not completely flaccid and he jerks it till it gets more stiff. He considers what Charlie said.

_ “Don’t have to get attached.” _

“I might not come over as much,” Connor shuffles a bit closer as the other man gestures for him. “I’ve been hanging out with a guy from school.”

Charlie presses his thumbs against Connor’s hipbones. “No way,” he sounds impressed. “Never thought you had it in you.”

There’s a pause where Charlie’s finger slips inside him and the teen sighs.

“Guess we should do something to celebrate,” Charlie continues, pressing hard against the spot that causes Connor’s back to arch back in a graceful curve.

“I—-yeah.” Connor takes a shaky breath. “Sure.”

“Great,” the dealer adds another finger and spreads them briefly. “You ready?”

Connor breathes.

 

“I don’t think I want to do this anymore,” Connor’s sitting on the front steps of Evan’s small porch.

Evan looks his way. “What?” The sun is setting and Connor knows he should be heading home soon.

He tries to figure out what he wants to say. “I’m just stuck in the gutters.” He could really go for a smoke right now. It’s been almost a week so he can blame his pensive thoughts on his lack of weed. Charlie is out of town and his weed well has run dry.

The other boy glances at the front lawn, wet from a mid afternoon shower. The air smells like rain. “I feel that way sometimes too,” he says.

Conner rests his head on his arms.

“I’m fucked.”

Evan’s gentle hand brushes against his arm. “I’m—” he stumbles over his words. “—Here for you.” 

Connor huffs. “Yeah okay.” He doesn’t get it.

“I mean—that’s what friends are for,” there’s a touch of humor in his voice, like he’s trying to cheer Connor up.

Evan’s hand is still on his arm. It’s warm and reminds Connor of what things could be.

 

He wants to swallow that memory down to save it forever—but he’s afraid it’d taste like salt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr is "geoffox". feel free to message me headcanons, prompts, questions, etc.
> 
> comments, kudos, etc are very appreciated. see you at the next chapter! :0

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr is "geoffox"


End file.
